How to move on: psychologist's advice

After a break-up it’s easy to feel disenchanted with life and love. But the important thing to remember is that behind every broken relationship is a valid reason why it was no longer working – and herein lays the key to moving on. Of course, in the lonely days and weeks following a break-up it’s easy to relapse into old habits and contact your ex-partner. But that’s one slippery slide, and you’ll more than likely end up biting the dust again.

There are a few things you need to keep in mind to keep you moving slowly but surely away from your previous relationship. Enter: EliteSingles’ Partner Psychologist Sam Owen, with a list of daily reminders to keep you on-task and focused toward a new chapter of your life.

1. You are not alone

After a break-up it’s easy to feel like you are the only one in your age bracket facing life as a single – especially if you belong to a social circle where everyone seems to have partnered up. Sam Owen recommends not to overstate the rarity of the situation, ‘Understand you are far from alone; people become single at all ages, so don’t beat yourself up about it or feel despondent.’

READ MORE: Build resilience and embrace life after a divorce – find out how!

2. Actively define who you are

If you are asking yourself how to move on, chances are that you are investing all your focus on finding a new partner. An integral part of moving on, though, is to first to reconnect with yourself as an individual. What are your personal goals for the future, independent of whether you find a partner or not? What are your personal interests, what brings you passion, what is vital to you in your life – what is it to you that gives life its sparkle? It’s a great idea to give yourself some time for self-reflection – it will be a valuable source to draw upon when it comes time to date again. ‘Learn more about who you are, what you do and don’t like and which values you hold dear, all of which will help you to find the right companion for you’, explains Owen.

3. Branch out

Following the breakdown of a relationship, make a conscious effort to snap out of old habits and routines. Enter new social spheres by brainstorming a list of things you are interested in, or go out on a limb and start something new. ‘The more new information you absorb by interacting with new people and engaging in new behaviours, the more you will see new ways of thinking about the world and life’, explains Owen.

READ MORE: Learn how to write an effective dating profile.

4. You’ll get by with a little help from your friends

Once the period of self-reflection is over, it’s time to get back into dating. If you feel intimidated at the thought of getting out and about, Owen suggests you find someone who shares your goal of meeting someone special, and start getting out and about together. ‘The support of a ‘wingman’ will make the journey easier as you venture out into the world of dating.’

5. How to move on? Increase your chances

The most important step when it comes to moving on is to expand your social network. Of course the best way to get into contact with other singles is to join a dating site like EliteSingles where members have actively indicated their desire for a committed partner. Are you ready to move on and open a new chapter of your love life? Be proactive and register today.