Valentine’s Day for singles

Valentine’s Day is a holiday that celebrates love and friendship. It can also serve as a catalyst for singles looking for love.

It seems as though every year there is more and more hype around Valentine’s Day, putting pressure on your shoulders if you are not at this moment feeling successful in your love life, despite how well you may be doing in other areas of your life. Seeing couples meeting, exchanging gifts, celebrating their love, hunched over candlelit tables whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears… it can be difficult to take. But as a single why not turn Valentine’s Day into something positive?

Valentine’s Day, looked forward to by lovestruck couples and willing wooers, is often a much dreaded time for many of the singles that are not actively in the dating game. In our EliteSingles Valentine’s survey, 75% of users hated Valentine’s Day purely because it reminded them that they were unwillingly single. As novelist Joan Bauer put it “It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year’s Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in.”

Saying thanks but no thanks to Valentine’s Day?

When you are single for Valentine’s Day, two scenarios are most likely to occur:

First scenario: One yearns to find a partner in time for Valentine’s Day to whom they can devote all their attention. As the date draws closer they can become despairing of not having found someone who will make it a special day for them.

Second scenario: One can utterly reject the day by denigrating love and all its trappings, talking up his or her celibacy, saying that one is better off alone than in bad company, that being single they are without obligation, that they have freedom and independence and have basically dodged a bullet in avoiding all the hassle of February 14. Interestingly enough, men are much more accepting of ‘bad company’ than women. 64% of women saying that the worst possible Valentine’s would be one spent with someone that they didn’t want to be with. Compare this with men, of whom only half felt the same way. Men were actually more inclined to say that the worst Valentine’s Day is one spent alone. Perhaps women aren’t the needier sex?

An alternative option…

There is a third, less radical, scenario that involves approaching the date with a more positive mindset. For a start, celebrate yourself! One in ten people send themselves flowers on Valentine’s day, so why not treat yourself to something nice. When contemplating it a little you can come to realise that Valentine’s Day can be a celebration of friendship as well as love. So why not get together with friends (preferably single friends) to take stock of the past year, and each find new targets that are calibrated according to your expectations. Talk to the man or woman that normally you are too full of trepidation to approach, with a light heart and no expectations. Go out more often with friends to meet people, start new activities such as joining a book club or a climbing centre, or consider joining a dating site. Be pro-active, but do not put too much pressure on yourself. After all, it’s really just another day. If you are determined not to be single you will find the way that best suits you eventually.

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EliteSingles editorial, February 2014